A Sticky Situation

"Why do we have to use nails and screws, why can't we just use glue?"

As with many utterances from an inquisitive ten year old there are usually, two responses, the first one is the "nerdy Dad" angle which involves a sit down across a desk a powerpoint presentation and a Q&A session.

Response option two, which is usually preferred by the "Dad already on the ladder" type, is the "YOU JUST CAN'T" angle e.g. "you just can't, pass me the nail gun and don't tell your mother you ever touched that".

Being a fully fledged DIY dyslexic with a toolbox that has more historical than functional value, I am firmly in option 2 territory.

I'd also agree wholeheartedly with the thrust of young Tarquin's question, as the concept of universally applicable "Liquid Nails(R)" has always been an attractive one to me.

The very clever Liquid Nails(R) people have a wonderful web page with an interactive calculator that actually allows you to select the ideal adhesive for a multitude of sticking combinations. Unfortunately, for the time pressured DIY hater, this may involve several less than attractive steps i.e. determine the correct adhesive, source and purchase, clean the surfaces (aggghhhh), apply to both surfaces and be incredibly patient while one becomes tacky, bring surfaces together and allow to cure and set for 8 hours.

Now for "Nerdy DIY Dad", this may be a worthwhile use of his Weekend, but for most time-pressured, beer and sport influenced males the general approach is the following series of steps;

1. Decide at the outset you can't be ar$3d to do it properly because it takes too long.
2. Rummage around in your dysfunctional toolbox - low level swearing indicating your general lack of interest in the project is permitted at this stage.
3. Lacerate index finger on right hand following an unplanned encounter with 3 loose drills and a packet of rusty "craft blades".
4. Drip blood on kitchen surface and illustrate to the domestic goddess who commissioned the job that repairing a cracked vase is a "danger sport" that may invalidate life insurance policies.
5. Repeat stages 1 & 2, omit 3 & 4,
6. Locate tube with a rusting end and a faint indication of the letters ".....esive......only as directed....."
7. Negotiate with domestic goddess for the loan of a BBQ skewer to pierce tube located in step 6. above.
8. Pierce tube half way down barrel and worry about the removal of extruded sticky mass from carpet at a later stage and/or cover with magazine.
9. Add liberal lashings of gunk to all broken vase surfaces. Bring the two surfaces together immediately, hide vase in shed, utter, "it needs to dry" and hope it's presence will not be missed until the next ice age.

Now I exaggerate a little, but it is without doubt a holy grail of the adhesive industry to develop the ultimate "smart adhesive" that senses surfaces and morphs it's properties accordingly.

We're not there yet, but there have been several milestones passed since cavemen experimented with fish heads, cows bladders and other sticky stuff. The last 200 years seeing a move from organically based Glues to functionally specific chemically derived Adhesives.

The development in the 1950's of a cyano-acrylate adhesive by Professor Vernon Kreible of Trinity College Hartford, made it's debut on a game show, was initially known as Prof. Kreibles Magic Gu, then liquid locknut, locktite and finally attached a "Super Glue" tag.

Although used successfully in a multitude of applications from space travel to formula one, the BBC have also reported on a number of "incorrect" applications, including a Philadelphia gambler who sued a casino for £30,500 after claiming he got stuck to a glue-smeared toilet seat and had to waddle through the casino for help.

With the availability of nanomaterials and our increased ability to manipulate matter at the molecular level we may be heading to a new "golden age" for the adhesives industry.

• Take a look at EcoStix (R) a nano engineered Pressure Sensitive Adhesive. Not only effective but environmentally sensitive.
• The development of the Gecko Foot dry adhesive is based on multiwalled carbon nanotubes with "curly entangled tops"
• The Max-Plank institute for polymer research are now investigating the production of polymers that mimic the proteins that Mussels use to attach themselves to rocks.
• The Master Bond design guide provides an excellent introduction to some of the key adhesive methodologies related to a specific sector such as adhesives for medical applications.

So there is definitely more to industrial adhesives than the casual user may imagine and we may be nano-inching closer to the ultimate single adhesive for the DIY desperate.

Finally, to comply with several global health and safety statutes, we must point out that at no time should you ever superglue flip-flops to the floor, it's dangerous, not funny and you shouldn't look .

I'd love to hear your Adhesive tales, please drop me a comment.

Editors Note:

For those of you who are gluttons for punishment and who send in kind words about Materials Thoughts, after seven years of blood sweat and horrendous topical gags with a materials slant the author has finally cast off his mask of secrecy and his collected dribblings can now be found at Social Materials or be followed on Twitter, with a wonderful archive of past Materials Thoughts on the AZoNetwork Blog Page - he says he'd love to hear from you.